some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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