I'm drive I can fine osifer
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
