You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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