Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
