He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
