Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
