i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
