i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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