You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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