I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
