One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
