So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize