I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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