At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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