Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
