How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
