I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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