it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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