dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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