You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
