ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
