I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize