I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
