Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
