We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
