You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
