dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
