If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
