i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
