Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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