im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
