You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize