Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
