I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He better not be in your backpack
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
