I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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