what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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