I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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