Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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