And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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