My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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