i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize