Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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