he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
