You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
