Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
