it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
