I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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