hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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