I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
