I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize