Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
