well you can't waste a boner
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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