Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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