I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
