Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
