I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
