I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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