My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you traded sex for a burrito?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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