hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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