i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
did i walk over a car last night?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Randomize