No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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